Ocean 220 Writing Serious Humor, Part 2

Scientific Translations
(I don't want to see any of these phrases in your manuscripts!)

Phrase in the article	Translation
It has been long known	I haven't bothered to check the references
It is known	I believe
It is believed	I think
It is generally believed	my colleagues and I think
There has been some discussion	nobody agrees with me
It can be shown	Take my word for it
It is proven	It agrees with something mathematical
of great theoretical importance	I find it interesting
of great practical importance	this justifies my employment
of great historical importance	this ought to make me famous
some samples were chosen for study	the other samples didn't make sense
typical results are shown	the best results are shown
correct to within an order of magnitude	wrong
the values were obtained emperically	the values were obtained by accident
the results are inconclusive	the results seem to disprove my hypothesis
additional work is required	someone else can work out the details
it might be argued that	I have a good answer to this objection
the investigations proved rewarding	my grant has been renewed
Thanks to Joe Blow for technical assistance and Jane Doe for valuable discussion	Thanks to Joe Blow for doing all the hard work and to Jane Doe for telling me what it means
while it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions	the experiments didn't work out but I figured I could still get a publication out of it
presumably at longer times	I didn't take the time to find out
the most reliable values are those of Jones (1999)	Jones was a student of mine
the agreement with the predicted curve is: excellent good satisfactory fair as good as could be expected	fair poor doubtful imaginary non-existent