"Being out there in the ocean - God's creation - it's like a gift he has given us to enjoy." Bethany Hamilton
Hi, I'm Eunie and my project is all about the bacteria that live in the ocean. I've decided to interview them.
Hello bacteria, how are you today?
"Good, we don't get interviewed very often so thanks for the opportunity to speak."
Are you happy down there in the deep dark ocean?
"Well, it is definitely a choice to live in the deep sea. Some bacteria like to live in the human gut, but it is definitely too urban and crowded there. The ocean is more rural, so to speak, and it suites us just fine."
What's a day in the life like down there?
"Its all work and no play. We gain energy, usually by scavenging scraps of food from sinking detritus, and then we try to divide once a day or so, maybe once a week when things are slow. We don't have cable TV or anything like that, so our world is somewhat mundane on the day-to-day. Dividing can be a chore - you are doing great and getting larger and larger then suddenly your biology takes over, kinda like hitting puberty, and suddenly your DNA is replicating and you are dividing and then Pow! There are two of you. Its a real trip."
As you know, I am investigating your abundance as a function of water depth, geospatial location and physical drivers such as temperature and upwelling. Can I count on you?
"Ha ha, I see the play on words there. Yeah, we are really embracing your study. Billions of us have already been cryogenically frozen at 100 degrees below zero (farenheit) in support of your research. We look forward to being better understood."
My colleague and mentor Mike is studying the viruses that attack you. What's your take on this?
"This Mike guy keeps concentrating us with that 0.2 micron filter of his and let us just say, we prefer the remoteness of the rural lifestyle. This forced concentration business is bad mojo but we understand his reasons and we are participating fully in the study. The viruses that attack us remain our scourge and Mike's research will be for the betterment of bacteria-kind. We applaud his and your efforts on our behalf.
Are there major issues in today's world that you'd like to comment on? Consider this your open forum.
"At the global scale we are concerned about our arch enemies the fungus and the way they are always attention grabbing. The recent news of how alcohol-driven fungi are taking over the communities near the Jack Daniels plant in Tenessee - those fungi need to keep in mind that alcohol is the devil's poison. We've said it before and we will say it again: Baudoinia compniacensis is a real sac fungus. We've remained silent on the ongoing Justin-Hailey-Selena TikTok controversy but we will go on record as saying that "Only Murderers in the Building" is entertainment at its finest. Finally, we are going with "Everything Everywhere All at Once" for best picture this year. Michelle Yeoh was amazing."